Dearie me, Doormats not welcome

I finally quit. Yes, I decided to stop whining about quitting and just do it. The final straw was when I got sick last weekend, again. I spent the day on the couch and didn’t eat for three days. I get sick occasionally, but never that sick. I attribute it to a weakened system from being outside in the cold too much, but it was the final straw and I turned in my two weeks’ notice last Monday, so I am happily anticipating my final day on Friday.

I was hoping to coast through the last week without investing too much emotionally into the job. However, thus far, that is not to be. I am pausing here to go get a glass of wine to go with my whine…ha.

Better now.

Yesterday, we were ordered to dump all the pansies from last fall because they weren’t going to sell. Most of them looked pretty bad, so no loss there, but about a third of them were still in good shape. I would have loved to adopt them and plant them in my flower bed. However, we were informed under no uncertain terms that we were not allowed to take any home. One person was even put in charge of making sure they got to the compost heap. All I can say is “How stingy!” At my last greenhouse job, everyone was allowed to take several trays of pansies home over the season. Other jobs have included free donuts or other ‘treats’ to foster good will and other pleasant feelings between employers and employees. No so at this job. I swear that they do everything they can sometimes to foster a mean work atmosphere. Note to all bosses and business owner, treats for employees is not a bad idea, like treats for your dog. So I spent Monday murdering perfectly lovely pansies and hating every moment. Only four days left, I said.

Then I came across today. Now in my previous post, I mentioned a character that I portrayed as being interesting with his “big secrets” and inability to take humor in the light it was given. However, I was doing my best to be kind. Today the gloves come off. I have hated this guy from the first moment he spoke to me. I did try to be pleasant to work with despite some of the comments that were borderline sexual harassment. I joked to keep him at a distance. I told him that he was my mortal enemy. The final straw was when he approached me when I was alone in a greenhouse, moved really close within my comfort zone and said to me, “I don’t know about this being enemies. It makes think of Sleeping with the Enemy.” COME ON! Why did he have to go there? There is no way that can be taken in a good light on any level. There were other things that I was trying to over look, as well, but that was the final straw. So I did my best to just avoid him until the time was up. Today I failed in my mission. I had to work with him all day, listen to his stupid Eeyore voice, watch him work at snail pace so everyone else will do the work for him, watch him play stupid even though he has been working there for half a year, listen to his racist comments…the list goes on. By the afternoon, I was really wound up. During our final task, I screwed something up. He took this opportunity to say, “I told you so, Dearie.” I snapped. It was actually the ‘dearie’ that did it. It was so in keeping with his superior than all women attitude that it just pushed the wrong button. Also, I have been trying to stand up for myself lately because when I let people treat me like a doormat, I just end up feeling like crap anyway. I responded with, “Fuck you John*!” I know, it was clever and brilliant and scathing and …pretty lame, but I was in a rage by this point. He said, “Fuck you!” back and I thought we were done for a while. I was wrong. This exchange had been loud and witnessed by others. When we were placing pots about 10 ft from the remainder of the group, he said really quietly so no one else would hear, “Kiss my ass, freak.” So many things went through my head at that moment, but the point of clarity was that I wasn’t going to spend the next 3 days with him saying nasty stuff to me when no one could hear. It was like punching a bully in the nose before he decides that you are his latest eternal victim and I had to punch the bully. So I announced to the rest of the work group in a very loud voice that I would like to share what John said to me and repeated it. I think I shocked him because his immediate response was to deny he ever said any such thing. While I don’t know who believes that I was telling the truth because I haven’t worked there long enough for my coworkers to know that I am painfully honest most of the time, I also don’t really care. It will be something for them all to talk about for years. After that, there was scolding by the crew leader and a threat to take us before the boss. I almost laughed about that because I am leaving in 3 days and would probably enjoy the novelty of being fired. If I have to work with him over the next 3 days though, I might just leave before my sentence is up.

All in all, the week has been surreal. Sometimes you read about the sort of people that will carry on a hate campaign when no one is looking, but somehow I thought it was mostly fiction. Wrong. I am also the kind of person that will just admit it when I say something or screw up, but apparently some people would rather lie about it. Speaking of screwing up, I did screw up today. I should never have let him get to me. I should have pretended that all was right with the world and I would have never started down this nasty road. I also guess that from his point of view, I went from being nice to a bitch overnight, but on the other hand, he had know that the “Sleeping with the Enemy” comment pissed me off because I wasn’t pretty blunt about it all at that moment. I hate it when people make me bitchy. While, I look back at much of my behavior today with distaste, I cannot look back at the last part of the day and be unhappy about my responses. Sometimes a girl just needs to establish boundaries. Moral of the story…don’t call me Dearie.

Only three more days.

*Name has been changed for no real reason.